hello hello world. i am still here. just been searching for something beyond myself for a little while. come to understand a bit more. also realized how little i truly know. we are so distracted. consumed. detached. from ourselves. from all that surrounds us. we have grown to accustomed to the echoes pulsing within our minds that we believe that this noise is who we are. i've been tracing inwards. further. deeper. collapsed into the arms of stillness. built a home within their soft embrace. bathed in the warmth of self acceptance. i've learned to listen. to see people. really see them. hear their stories. heal the space between their aching words. i've released rivers of pain that still lingered within. heaviness i was unaware of until i grew still enough to feel it leaking from my skin. pooling at my feet. my reflection staring at me. reaching back into itself. hollow. cold. i've been shedding skin. layers that were never mine to carry. burdens which swallowed me up for a little while. trying to figure out who i am. what rests beneath the surface. it's an interesting thing. emptying myself, and somehow becoming whole again in the process. i've surrendered to the fluidity that is this human experience. constantly shifting. changing. it's strangely comforting. how temporary all of this is. how insignificant we really are. a little speck of dust in an infinite world. day by day. i am learning. teaching myself to overcome feeling unworthy. this limiting belief is one i've struggled with my entire life. deeply rooted in self imposed illusion. or maybe it's the fear of surrendering to an inner strength so untethered and wild that it will cause the walls i've so carefully built to crumble apart in the process. sometimes i need to nurture this fear. soothe it with gentleness and tender love, so that it quiets down for a while. stillness helps at times. writing does as well. i know i am worthy. i am here to pour love. we all are. i feel as if i am on the tipping edge of something beautiful. energy is shifting. spiraling upwards. maybe i am already there. maybe just being is alright for now.